Tomalito

I had been meaning to do this recipe for a while. Whenever I go to Chevys, I HAVE to order something that comes with Tomalito - or Corn Pudding. I always eat it last and in teeny, tiny fork fulls because it's torturously fantastic, but they give you about a tablespoon of it. Meanies. So now I have a pan full!



Ingredients:
5 Tb Buttah, softened
1/4 Cup Masarepa or Harina Masa or Masa Harina... if anyone knows the actual name, please share.
1/3 Cup Sugar
1/2 Cup Water
1 Cup Corn, buzzed to mush
1/2 Cup Corn, let to live another day.
1/2 Cup Corn Meal
1 Tsp Baking Powder
1/2 Tsp Salt
2 Tb plus 1 tsp Milk. Stupid amount. Just do it.

Preheat oven to 250.

Smoosh the butter, masarepa, and sugar together until it's fluffy. Blend the water and mushy corn together, add to the mixture. Add everything else, stir together and pour into a small baking dish.

Create a water bath by filling a large roasting pan with about an inch of water. Cover the smaller baking dish with aluminum foil, put it in the bath, and put the whole thing in the oven. Rubber ducky optional. Cook for 1 1/2 hours, or until a toothpick is inserted and comes out clean. Gobble it up.

Biscuit Battle Concludes! "Joy" Biscuits

I still have more buttermilk left, and I swear I will USE IT ALL!!!

This biscuit recipe is from "The Joy of Cooking." You'd think Irma would be the authority on Biscuits. I actually do not own the book (shame on me), and found this recipe at Hilah Cooking. She gets drunk in the episode. Too hilarious. Here's my shot at Irma's biscuits.



ALTON'S THE WINNER! Of course a Southern boy would win out the biscuit battle. And I still have buttermilk left... now what?

In case you like your biscuits on the drier, cloudier side, here's...

Irma's Biscuits - Ingredients:
1 3/4 Cup Flour
1 Tb Baking Powder
A sprinkle of salt
5 Tb Buttah
3/4 Cup Buttahmilk

Mix it together. Cut it. Bake it at 450 for 12 minutes. Eat.

Drop Biscuits

As I mentioned in my Buttermilk Biscuit post, I had to buy about a half gallon of buttermilk. That's all they had. And I only needed a cup for Alton's recipe. The only thing that can remedy this? Have a Biscuit-off. I'm going to try to find as many Biscuit recipes as I can and try to make them all before the buttermilk goes bad. Or I die of a heart attack and diabetic coma.

This recipe is from the book "The Complete America's Test Kitchen Cookbook." Huge title, huge book... I'm addicted to it. I've been reading it like a novel. It's a problem.



While I was filming I couldn't decide which one I liked best, but afterwards Steve brought up a good point. These biscuits are great by themselves - they have so much butter in them that you don't need to top them with anything. But if you want to spread things on them, the others are better. These also are more like dumplings than biscuits, and I feel like for something to be a "biscuit" and not just a "roll," it has to have horizontal flakes that kinda peel into one another. So Alton, I apologize for ever doubting you.

1st Place: Alton's Recipe
2nd Place: America's Test Kitchen's Recipe
1489082349809809857489th Place: Those crappy ass biscuits I made the first time.

Ingredients:
2 Cups Flour
2 Tsp Baking Powder
1 Tsp Sugar
3/4 Ts Salt
1/2 Tsp Baking Soda
1 Cup Buttahmilk, cold
1 Stick of Buttah, melted, plus more to paint on later.

Preheat oven to 475.

Sift dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl, cold Buttahmilk and hot Buttah until little clumpies form - I think it's just the butter re-cooling and solidifying. Whatever it is, it's good. Mix wet and dry ingredients together, but don't overmix.

"Drop" the biscuits onto a cookie sheet with an ice cream scoop (The recipe actually says with a quarter cup, but that seems unnecessarily difficult.) Bake for 14 minutes, paint on some butter, and let cool for five more minutes. Try not to stuff more than three in your mouth at a time.

Buttermilk Biscuits

The last biscuits sucked. Do not believe what I said at the end of the video, they were bad. Dry, yellow, bluch, yucky, and pheh. Distraught and lost with not a friend in the world, I turned to my savior, Alton Brown. And he saved me. Oh, dear, did he save me.



Ingredients:
2 Cups Flour
4 Teaspoons Baking Powder
1/4 Baking Soda
3/4 Teaspoons Salt
2 Tb Buttah
2 Tb Shortenin'
1 Cup Buttahmilk

Preheat oven to 450 degrees, mix stuff together, roll it out, cut it into rounds, cook for 15 minutes, thank the heavens that Alton Brown was put on this earth.

---

Now I have a jug of buttermilk in the fridge, so I think another Biscuit recipe is in order. Again, this was delicious. The outside was crispy, the inside was a pillowy cloud of delicious... but I have no idea what to do with my jug of buttermilk. So, soon (before June 7th, as that's when the milk expires...) I'm going to try America's Test Kitchen's version. And it'll be a battle to the death. Or to the pain. Five points to anyone who gets that reference.

If anyone has another recipe for me to try, gimme gimme!

Queens Correspondent - Pea Guac

So, I’ve been asked by the illustrious Jenny to be her Queens correspondent, and I, of course, agreed, because who wouldn’t want to be a part of her brand of fabulousness? No one.

Today, I was on a Mexican kick for some reason, and decided to make myself some guacamole, but alas, I had only half of an avocado. Not nearly enough food for my ginormous appetite. How did I rectify this? Peas. Sounds crazy, no? But seriously, best idea EVER.

What happened next was pure magic: I took a box of frozen peas, which I had chillin’ in my freezer, and warmed them in the microwave, just to defrost them, not enough to cook them all the way through. I then took my avocado half and two limes and put the flesh and juice of each, respectively, into a bowl. I zested the limes first, of course, because it’s just easier that way. I then chopped half of a small yellow onion, and threw that in there, along with half of the box of peas (save the rest for later…you really should eat your veggies, ya know). Next, I added salt and pepper to taste. [Note: all of these amounts can be altered to suit your tastes…it’s just cooking, not rocket science. Right, Emeril?]

Finally, due to my ghetto kitchen, I was forced to mash the mixture with a fork, but I enjoy the texture of whole peas, so it wasn’t a huge loss. However, for those who are more texturally sensitive, throw the mixture in the blender, and it will produce a much smoother guac.

At this point, you are free to grab a fork and have at it as is, or as Jenny would say: “nom.” I suggest serving with tortilla chips, your favorite salsa, and sour cream (or fat free greek yogurt makes a nice substitute for those who are trying to watch their fat intake but don’t feel like they deserve to punish themselves by eating the grainy, watery abomination that is fat free sour cream).

The result was bliss.

Ingredients: (makes enough for 2 people or one me)
1/2 a hass avacado
1/2 a box of frozen peas
1/2 a small yellow onion
the zest and juice of two limes
salt and pepper to taste

The benefits of this recipe are as follows:

-Low in fat and calories, and higher in nutritional substance than regular guac
-Cheap as hell
-Easy and quick to make
-Can be easily augmented or downsized based on how many you will be serving
-A nice change from regular guac (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
-A use for those frozen peas you inexplicably bought and have no desire to eat or use on their own

Hope you enjoyed my first sub-blog, y’all!
More to come - JJ

Biscuits

Ok, so I'm trying a new format, and here's my master plan - I'm actually going to TELL YOU what I'm doing. Yea, I guess I was just lazy before or surprised when recipes came out well, so didn't bother to tell you what I was doing out of embarrassment. So here is me making Biscuits!



Recipe:
2 Cups Flour (plus more for the table)
2 tsp Baking Soda (supposed to be Powder. Woops.)
1/2 tsp Salt
4 Tb Shortening
3/4 Cup Milk (plus more for painting)

Hardware: A bowl, a sifter, a spoon, a silpat, a baking sheet, your grubby little paws.

Bruschetta and Garlic Bread

I was feeling all hippie-healthy, and decided Bruschetta would make a fine dinner. Here is my recipe for not-too-greasy-that-Mom-can't-eat-it Bruschetta and sinfully garlic-y bread.

Recipe: Some tomatoes, some basil, some olive oil, some salt (like the exact measurements?), crusty bread, more olive oil, a clove of garlic.



Later, I was bored and made chocolate molten cakes. They. Were. Godly. Steve and I moaned around the apartment for a while and are fighting the urge to eat more. It is made of everything that is sin. Melting. In chocolate.

Recipe: 3/4 cup butter, 3/4 cup sugar, 6oz dark chocolate, 1/4 cup flour, 4 eggs, garnished with the devil.

Melt the butter and chocolate together, mix all other ingredients in another bowl. Combine and cook in 4 ramekins for about 14 minutes. Eat. Orgasm.

Artichokes with Hollandaise Sauce

So I started setting up to videotape myself making Artichokes with Hollandaise Sauce, and got very angry at my day, so threw the laptop back at the couch. But, things that happened:

I discovered I LOVE artichokes. Where have they been all my life?

However, Alton lied when he said that the stem of the artichoke tastes as good as the heart. Lies. It tastes like wood. Unless I didn't peel it far enough.

I made a perfect hollandaise. Perfection. Too bad I, apparently, do not like hollandaise. But I am very proud of how it turned out.

I got my first cooking-related injury. I was cutting the fuzzies (actually called the "choke," but it just looks like hair.) off of the artichoke heart, and my finger got in the way. I now cannot do dishes because putting water on my finger stings hardcore.

Overall, a nice turn to an otherwise rather frustrating day.