Baked Ziti!

This is the absolutely laziest blog to date. I had intended to make Challah - a four hour process culminating in the symphonic six strand braiding of properly raised, beaten, raised again hand made dough.

But that didn't happen.

I went to the supermarket, all optimism and skipping, bought yeast, eggs, honey... and forgot flour. So I could either make a yeast and honey omelet, or postpone the Challah adventure.

Distraught and disgruntled, I begrudgingly recorded myself making the laziest dinner (next to boxed macaroni) in existence. It consists of opening packages, throwing them in the general direction of a clean baking dish, and applying fire.

I call this "Thank-You-ShopRite-for-Doing-All-The-Measuring-For-Me... Baked Ziti"!



Ingredients:
Box of Pasta
Jar of Sauce
Half a Container of Ricotta
Bag of Mozzerella
Herbs to make things pertyful.

Boil pasta. Throw everything in a pan. Mix. Cover in cheesey goodness. Sprinkle with herbs in a last ditch attempt to pretend to have an actually useful cooking show. Bake at 425 until deliciously brown and melty.

Red Wine Risotto

I'VE REACHED A HUNDRED SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE!!!!

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog.

This recipe is kind of a "pantry cleaner," as people like to call it on the blogosphere. I had red wine from making Coq aux Vin, I had carrots from... something, I don't remember, and I had asparagus because asparagus is delicious and I eat it more than any other vegetable ever. Ever. So here's Red Wine Risotto with Carrots and Asparagus.



Ingredients:
Olive Oil
1/2 Shallot
Asparagus and Carrots to taste (I used 3 huge Asparagus spears and a humongo Carrot)
1/2 Cup Arborio Rice
Red Wine
Chicken Broth
Juice of 1 Lemon
Parmesan Cheese
Parsley

Heat up some olive oil in a beautiful new Carribean Le Creuset Dutch Oven... or you know, a small pot. Sweat the Shallot for a few minutes, then throw in your veggies and let soften. Don't cook all the way, as they will continue to stew in the rice liquid.

Throw in the rice and let toast for a moment. Add enough Red Wine to cover, and let the rice absorb. When you can see the bottom of the pan as you stir, add Chicken Broth to cover and let absorb. Repeat until rice is almost done.

On the last addition of liquid, add Lemon Juice and Parmesan to taste, and sprinkle with Parsley because that's what impressive type people do. Eat immediately before it turns to cheesy library paste.

Recipe Rewrite - Tomato Pan Sauce

Thanks to Jessica, I now know how to make a successful plate of Gnocchi with Tomato Sauce, but I felt like fiddling about with the recipe. As I was eating it, I noticed that because we used Grape Tomatoes, the sauce was mostly water and skins. I wanted more meat to my sauce, so I chose to use a meatier tomato. Because of their size and shape, they are both easy to peel and easy to seed.

Ingredients (serves 2):
8 Plumb (Roman?) Tomatoes
Olive Oil to coat the pan
3 Cloves Garlic, minced
Red Pepper Flake to Taste
Salt and Pepper
A handful of Basil, chiffonaded... is that how you spell it? Cut into strips.

A pot of boiling water
A bowl of ice water

With a paring knife, cut a verrryyyy shallow X in the top of each tomatoes. You don't want to get into the flesh, just pierce the skin to give it a head start to curl. Drop the tomatoes in the boiling water, and as soon as the skins start to curl, pull them out and drop them in the ice water. When they're cool enough to handle, peel the skin off. Cut the tomatoes in half and squish out the seeds and juices. Chop up the tomatoes some more.

In a saute pan (or skillet... or pot... whatever you've got around.) heat up some olive oil and shake in some Red Pepper Flake. (I hear when you cook Red Pepper Flake a little the flavor is rounder or something.) Fling in the tomatoes, sprinkle salt and pepper, toss in the garlic. Now that you've made a mess by throwing ingredients, clean the stove and let the sauce cook for about 10 minutes. You can actually cook it for however long you want - the longer you cook it, the less "fresh" or acidic it'll taste. So it's all up to you "old fashioned" you'd like your sauce to taste. Throw in the Basil RIGHT before you serve. If you put it in too soon, it'll wilt and lose flavor. If you want to "mount the sauce," (I'm going quotes crazy today, sorry), toss in some buttah and discuss how Rhode Island is neither a road nor and island.

Gnocchi and Tomato Sauce, Attempt #3

Ok, bringing in the big guns. Jessica came from Queens to teach those potatoes what happens when you mess with me. I, finally, after three attempts, get to eat a dinner of Gnocchi and Tomato Sauce.



Ingredients for Gnocchi:
2 Russet potatoes
1 ish cup of flour
1 egg
Some olive oil

Ingredients for Sauce:
Tomatoes
Olive Oil
Salt
Pepper
Red Pepper Flake
Basil

Hoorah! And happy mother's day, Mommy.

Gnocchi and Tomato Sauce, Attempt #2

So I was really confident with this one. I had picked out the recipes, studied them, engrained them into my brain... and then didn't buy enough tomatoes. And then tried to halve the gnocchi recipe. Et cetera, chaos ensues. Watch for the moment of total destruction!



Stay tuned for Gnocchi and Tomato Sauce, attempt #3. Not any time soon, mind you. I'm a little gnocchied out.

Bruschetta and Garlic Bread

I was feeling all hippie-healthy, and decided Bruschetta would make a fine dinner. Here is my recipe for not-too-greasy-that-Mom-can't-eat-it Bruschetta and sinfully garlic-y bread.

Recipe: Some tomatoes, some basil, some olive oil, some salt (like the exact measurements?), crusty bread, more olive oil, a clove of garlic.



Later, I was bored and made chocolate molten cakes. They. Were. Godly. Steve and I moaned around the apartment for a while and are fighting the urge to eat more. It is made of everything that is sin. Melting. In chocolate.

Recipe: 3/4 cup butter, 3/4 cup sugar, 6oz dark chocolate, 1/4 cup flour, 4 eggs, garnished with the devil.

Melt the butter and chocolate together, mix all other ingredients in another bowl. Combine and cook in 4 ramekins for about 14 minutes. Eat. Orgasm.

Asparagus Risotto

So, after the last fiasco that was my Gnocchi (French Fries) and Stewed Tomatoes (Ketchup), I decided to cook something I actually have in the past. Asparagus Risotto with Parmesan. ((EDIT: Thank you, Jessica, for correcting me. I did not cover my risotto in sauce and cheese and bake it a la parmigiana.))



Soon to come: Matzo Ball Soup.

And vegan cookies. I didn't forget.

Gnocchi with Stewed Tomatoes

In this video, I attempt some potato gnocchi with stewed tomatoes. Underline attempt. A few times.



After eating a few of my fries or latkes or whatever my not-gnocchi were, I went to Mom's house for dinner. And forgot to ask for a masher.

Soon to come: Vegan cookies for my hippie brother.