Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Food Jammers Review

The Cooking Channel is here... and so far it doesn't look that great. I've only watched a few episodes, but so far it looks like they were attempting to look indie and thrown together and failed dismally.

Food Jammers
This is where the "indie" theme fails dismally. The set up is simple: three (totally not gay) college guys sit around in their eclectic mish mash of an apartment, and cook things in their oh-so-chillaxed way. The problem is that it's completely contrived, lacking energy, and there is absolutely NO chemistry between the three roommates. They literally look like they're annoyed by each other. And one of them keeps looking at the camera to update us after commercial breaks, but his eyes are unfocused... it's more painful than watching kindergardeners on stage dressed as vegetables.

The episode opened with "We're out of beer." You can almost hear the echoes of the writers brainstorming -

Brainstormer 1: Ok, so we have three hip dudes in a totally chickless room, but they're totally not gay. What would they be thinking about?
Brainstormer 2: Boobs.
Brainstormer 1: No, not food related...
Brainstormer 2: Sorry. Breasts. Legs. Boston butt?
Brainstormer 1: Enh...
Brainstormer 2: Alcohol.
Brainstormer 1: Brilliant!

The totally-not-gay-but-really-thirsty roommates then decide they're going to make "pop" because beer isn't sweet enough. They start pondering the problem of thinking up a recipe, all while using a guitar amp as a metaphor for flavor components - volume of flavor, fade of flavor, blah blah blah, I get it, "Food Jammers" is a play on words. For the rest of the episode, they play mad scientists trying to make "pop." (It's Soda, people. Not pop.)

My question - if these three guys are so poor that they're rooming together, own a foosball table, and talk about food in musical metaphors, why do they have so much scientific knowledge? Did they watch too much Mythbusters?

My final verdict - even their friendship wasn't forced and contrived, the hosts are boring. They're not even eye candy. And that's just a sin.


  1. Dear Jenny, in Canada, they do call it pop. The show does an excellent job of appealing to a younger demographic that appreciates an innovative and inspiring look at cooking, no matter how frivolous and seemingly unneccesary it may be. The trio visit interesting professionals in unique fields of work and the mishaps they encounter serve to keep the atmosphere light and fun. In addition, this program showcases a wide variety of music that the average viewer might not normally get a chance to hear. Finally, if you don't believe that three well educated guys can share a genuine love of food without being gay, then your views are flawed. Maybe before you learn to cool, you should re-evaluate your outlook on life.

  2. ^ Thats a paid comment right there.

  3. I agree. This show brings out the worst of the you call it "indie", I call it your average San Franciscan transplant new age, dotcom bust wannabe. These guys suck ass, and the Asian guy is SOO annoying. Oh yeah, we're all these really laid back dudes with wimpy bikes with baskets on them so we can transport our freshly picked up vegetables from the flew market, UGH FKN PLEAZZZZZZ!!!!!!! GO AWAY. This town, SF, is filled with these types, and, while they aren't a threat to anyone, they still suck, because as mentioned, three guys would be screaming about women, or sports, or some idea, or some youthful-let go ness. These guys look and act 20 years older than they are. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  4. I stumbled upon this page due to typing in "Food Jammers is the gayest show ever". I gave it a chance a few times... but watching weird-ass ugly stoned dudes making a hot tub so they can soak in it together and eat sushi is so nasty gross.. I can't even believe this show got on the air.

  5. I think it's a good show. They try a lot of interesting things while making some good eats. Stop hating on it. Why are you people so concerned with what they look like anyway. To me it sounds like you have some issues. Anyways food jammers is a pretty decent show. For those of you who haven't seen it, give it a chance

  6. I also think this is a good show. It might be a bit quirky but it is very entertaining. I love the total random things that happen in each episode. It makes you laugh as you say "did you just see what happened in the background?". They also usually make some stuff that sounds really good. I say give this a chance.

  7. Let me guess: you probably love "Hell's Kitchen" or maybe Giada is more your speed.
    The show is filmed in Toronto, not SF.
    (Oh..and it's spelled "kindergarteners")

  8. What have you accomplished in your life, exactly?

  9. i'm in my 50's and we love the show and so does
    my son. i think it's great these 3 guys are such
    good friends, plus they work so well together.
    we love the show. everyone has a right to their
    opinion. but i know tons of people who love the

  10. This show is a ridiculous waste of time. How awful with all the wonderful things these 3 boring boys/men could do other than learning how to kick a can around to make ice cream, then to ruin a refrigerator to make an ice cream machine. These 3 try to re-invent ideas and products that have been invented already! They clearly are bright, even if boring and pretentious. Why not go to a third world country and "give" something of yourselves! Make that a show. Go give back you spoiled brats. By the way, all three could use a shower, gross.
    When they were milking a cow and the old, organic farmer said, "haven't you squeezed a teat?!" And the kid says, "no. I haven't" That's why boys.